On a serious note

To a friend with an incestous uncle, to victims of sexual abuse, to anyone who may have had a chance encounter of molestation....... to girls and women:


No, you may NOT
Feel me, caress me, slide your hand under my shirt.
Stare at me, as if I was merely an object of desire

Leer, ogle, push, touch
Encroach upon my space
Violate, humiliate, shame
Me although it is you who ought to be shamed

I remember now and I am angry
I am mad at having let you
I am sad for having been told it was my fault
When it was really all yours

Dress modest, they said
Do not smile, laugh, talk loud
Be invisible to the eye
Of the one that leers

But I did not want to be invisible
Why must I not be visible
This is my space as much as it is yours
I need to be seen and heard

And you did see and hear me
And then you did what you should not have done

Feel me, caress me, slide your hand under my shirt

Back then I felt a fear
And a loathing
And hate
And fear

But today all I feel is the anger
I am mad
For having let you do what you did
For having let them tell me that maybe it was after all my fault
But today I feel no fear
For I know now
It was not my wrong
It was yours

I am mad that I did not know it then
But now I do
And you can longer hurt me
Because if you do,
I will hurt you back.

Musings

Wife.Mother. Daughter. In law. Lawyer. Accountant. Sister. Friend. Confidante. Spouse. Are parts of who I am. And not who I am.

I am who I am. And who I choose to be. And strive to be. And become.

Free of all I was born into being. Made to be. Asked to be. Supposed to be. Those are just parts of me.

To be me. Is to be this. Free thinking. Free of stereotypes. Confident. To speak my mind. To stand my ground. Loving. So that I can be loved. As giving as deserving to receive.

To choose. My rights. My wrongs. A few vices is not a bad thing.

Womanhood. And all that is a part of it. And to know it all. And love it all. And embrace it all.

To do. Discover. Dream. Explore. Meet. Nurture. Live. Some if this. Some of that. Always seeking.

Life via Lens- A tree with character and a a few dried flowers

I love randomly discovering stuff as I am walking around the city. Stuff that is not obviously noticeable but will catch my eye. Today I saw two. The first is the tree growing on the UFT campus. Brown, leafless, devoid of any buds or leaves, branches that seem like an intricate network of veins. I like this tree. It has a certain character to it. And I am now waiting to see this tree once spring arrives. When the branches start sprouting buds, showing the first signs of life. And then in summer, when the leaf is no longer devoid but blossoming with life.



And then there were the bunch of dried flowers growing on the pathway that I take to work in the morning. Colorless, wet, shriveled up. Resolute through the long winter. Still there. Still standing. Still beautiful. These too, I will visit again when spring arrives. That will be another picture.

Life via lens- Another few happy days :-)

Keunsang, Gia, Rohan and scooters

Hanging out on a tree

The Boys

Bed spread fun!

Before cupcakes get baked, cupcake mixture gets eaten.

Life via Lens- A day in the life of a 7 and 3 year old

Mar 22: G and baby doll and R and Fluffy at bedtime.
Mar 21: Books before bed.

Mar 20: Scootering on Bloor street.

Mar 19: The world eats pancakes. I eat pancake mix.

Mar 18: Apparently, he's posing.

Life via Lens- A typical week day morning

Morning Chai. Subway. Breakfast on the Go. Stairs. Work at fifth floor.

A day in the life

I needed to start something new- a project to keep me creatively satisfied, something fun , something meaningful.

Started with my husbands idea of taking a picture a day of the kids. And so I started. And the one thing I told myself was that these would not be the typical pose for mommy pics at a special occasion or place- these would the random, spontaneous pictures of their life- moments and moods... Breakfasts, baths, friends, school, walks, sleep, tantrums even.

And it's been fun. And easy to do with the camera on the phone. At any moment of day when I remember to do it, I just click away.

And so yesterday as I downloaded the pictures from the phone to the computer, I smiled at what I saw. Rohan posing with his new scooter, Gia eating pancake mix, Rohan and his every morning big breakfast, a pose at the museum, a moment at the bookstore, fun in the bathtub. Smiles, frowns, poses, looks. Faces of a 7 and a 21/2 year old. Days of their lives. And days of mine.