Woman with child- thou art beautiful

Two of my female colleagues are pregnant. One at 8 months, looking like she could pop any day. Big big beautiful belly carrying a baby all day. The other, at 4 months, usually a very flat stomached woman, now you can see the baby bump. Ever so slight but still obvious, growing a little every day.

And everyday as I see these women, I realise how absolutely beautiful a pregnant woman's body is. There is something so organic, so raw about that body- the breasts that start to fill in, the skin that begins to glow or on days look weathered, the belly that expands slowly at first and then as if the child just seems to want to burst forth. The confidence of the that body, as the woman walks around all day, working like the rest, doing things as normal as ever at the same time accomodating the creation of a human life within.

What makes it even more beautfiful is that for those 9 months, the female body must reject every other stigma, every other rule, every other stereotype that sets all these rules around the female anatomy. Stick thin, dieting, eat like a mouse, avoid all carbs, thin arms, flat stomach, perfect boobs , photoshopped bodies and on and on and on. For those nine months, you eat for two and them some more, you get on that weighing scale, hoping to see the extra pounds, you eat what you crave withoutt worrying about the calories and  you let the belly grow. For once, your body is yours and that of your child growing within.

And the confidence that comes with that body. I can almost see it on the faces. I mean, you are creating a human life within you- would you need another reason to feel more empowered? Bootcamps don't even come close.

The art of unparenting involving 3 kids and a drowning bee

It's important that I write this down. Not because I think I will forget- oh no, this one incdient is etched in my minds- the details of it as clear as though it  happened yesterday. It's important that I write it down so I also remember clearly what I took away from it. And take away from I did. A lesson in parenting or perhaps "un parenting".

It was a hot Bangalore day. Hot and humid and just right for the pool. So I was walking the kids for a swim- my 4 year old, my 8 year old and another 8 year old - in their swim shorts and flip flops and towels lazily slung across. We got to the pool and as they were about to get in, they spotted a bee in the water, struggling to keep afloat. The were mesmerized by what they saw- the 4 year old was even nervous. There was a bee in the swimming pool.

My instant thought was that they were now scared to get in. My insticnct was to save the day for them. My advice was to ignore the bee and get in from the other end. And when I told them to do that they didn't react- they only stood around and watched the bee. So I said it again, as parents do, when we think the kids aren't listening. See, I had got them for a swim so I was on a mission to get them into the pool.

And then my son looked at me and said " But the bee is alive- we should save it." The other two nodded fervently and in unison. Of course, that was the only thing to do. WIthout even discussin it , all 3 of them knew it. Just like that.

And just like that in the next 5 minutes, we found a leaf, hauled the bee out, put it on the grass, the sun dried it up. And the bee flew away. 

And I remember looking at their faces and that expression of sheer joy and achievement and kindness and relief - a swim in the pool would never even come close!

How often do I read about Buddhism. Because I like the philsophy of it and I want to be a better person for learning it. And how often is it reiterated in Buddhism the importance of kindness to animals. To quote, "Therefore, those who are not kind to animals, would do well to develop the feeling of love and compassion for animals. Remember that the animals have feelings of pleasure and pain, of joy and sorrow, like all of us. It is not possible to escape the consequences of one's deeds. Remember, therefore, that some of your own relatives or friends may by the process of the inexorable law of Karma be reborn in this state of woe, and so even yourself, if you are not sufficiently virtuous."

For all my reading, for all my wisdom, that day I learnt the true meaning of it all- and that lesson got handed down to me by three kids whose collective age is half of mine.

Sometimes we must teach them. But more often than that, we must learn.