The art of unparenting involving 3 kids and a drowning bee

It's important that I write this down. Not because I think I will forget- oh no, this one incdient is etched in my minds- the details of it as clear as though it  happened yesterday. It's important that I write it down so I also remember clearly what I took away from it. And take away from I did. A lesson in parenting or perhaps "un parenting".

It was a hot Bangalore day. Hot and humid and just right for the pool. So I was walking the kids for a swim- my 4 year old, my 8 year old and another 8 year old - in their swim shorts and flip flops and towels lazily slung across. We got to the pool and as they were about to get in, they spotted a bee in the water, struggling to keep afloat. The were mesmerized by what they saw- the 4 year old was even nervous. There was a bee in the swimming pool.

My instant thought was that they were now scared to get in. My insticnct was to save the day for them. My advice was to ignore the bee and get in from the other end. And when I told them to do that they didn't react- they only stood around and watched the bee. So I said it again, as parents do, when we think the kids aren't listening. See, I had got them for a swim so I was on a mission to get them into the pool.

And then my son looked at me and said " But the bee is alive- we should save it." The other two nodded fervently and in unison. Of course, that was the only thing to do. WIthout even discussin it , all 3 of them knew it. Just like that.

And just like that in the next 5 minutes, we found a leaf, hauled the bee out, put it on the grass, the sun dried it up. And the bee flew away. 

And I remember looking at their faces and that expression of sheer joy and achievement and kindness and relief - a swim in the pool would never even come close!

How often do I read about Buddhism. Because I like the philsophy of it and I want to be a better person for learning it. And how often is it reiterated in Buddhism the importance of kindness to animals. To quote, "Therefore, those who are not kind to animals, would do well to develop the feeling of love and compassion for animals. Remember that the animals have feelings of pleasure and pain, of joy and sorrow, like all of us. It is not possible to escape the consequences of one's deeds. Remember, therefore, that some of your own relatives or friends may by the process of the inexorable law of Karma be reborn in this state of woe, and so even yourself, if you are not sufficiently virtuous."

For all my reading, for all my wisdom, that day I learnt the true meaning of it all- and that lesson got handed down to me by three kids whose collective age is half of mine.

Sometimes we must teach them. But more often than that, we must learn.