On a serious note

To a friend with an incestous uncle, to victims of sexual abuse, to anyone who may have had a chance encounter of molestation....... to girls and women:


No, you may NOT
Feel me, caress me, slide your hand under my shirt.
Stare at me, as if I was merely an object of desire

Leer, ogle, push, touch
Encroach upon my space
Violate, humiliate, shame
Me although it is you who ought to be shamed

I remember now and I am angry
I am mad at having let you
I am sad for having been told it was my fault
When it was really all yours

Dress modest, they said
Do not smile, laugh, talk loud
Be invisible to the eye
Of the one that leers

But I did not want to be invisible
Why must I not be visible
This is my space as much as it is yours
I need to be seen and heard

And you did see and hear me
And then you did what you should not have done

Feel me, caress me, slide your hand under my shirt

Back then I felt a fear
And a loathing
And hate
And fear

But today all I feel is the anger
I am mad
For having let you do what you did
For having let them tell me that maybe it was after all my fault
But today I feel no fear
For I know now
It was not my wrong
It was yours

I am mad that I did not know it then
But now I do
And you can longer hurt me
Because if you do,
I will hurt you back.

Musings

Wife.Mother. Daughter. In law. Lawyer. Accountant. Sister. Friend. Confidante. Spouse. Are parts of who I am. And not who I am.

I am who I am. And who I choose to be. And strive to be. And become.

Free of all I was born into being. Made to be. Asked to be. Supposed to be. Those are just parts of me.

To be me. Is to be this. Free thinking. Free of stereotypes. Confident. To speak my mind. To stand my ground. Loving. So that I can be loved. As giving as deserving to receive.

To choose. My rights. My wrongs. A few vices is not a bad thing.

Womanhood. And all that is a part of it. And to know it all. And love it all. And embrace it all.

To do. Discover. Dream. Explore. Meet. Nurture. Live. Some if this. Some of that. Always seeking.