Let there be wrinkles.

Age. Gracefully. Beautifully. And proudly.

Age. Because you will.

I do not judge nip and tuck. If that is for you, that is for you. Make no apologies for it. I make no judgements.

It is not for me. I believe in ageing. I believe there is a time to be 20 and then there is a time to be 40. The mind must evolve and grow. The body must follow suit.

Also, to me defying age is like picking a battle with it. A lost battle, really. Ageing happens. It's a question of when you decide to let it show.

And it does win in the end. All you can do is delay the win.

I, for one, like picking my battles. Wisely. I pick the ones I can win. Not the ones that "look" like I win. Pun intended.

A year back, I noticed the "under the eye" lines. They arrived. At 36. At first, I was bothered. Then when I read somewhere they are also called laugh lines, I was glad.

Glad that I had laughed. With my mom- we share this rather hysterical laughther over something funny my dad may have done. My dad is hardly ever amused by it but he is a good sport. We laugh till the the tears roll down. And then we laugh again.

With my kids. We laugh. My daughter, easily. My son, not so easy to please but when he finds something that will amuse him, he will laugh. Like, really laugh. Throw his head back and laugh.

My sis and I. We laugh. We have laughed as children and we laugh as adults. I have know that laugh for over 37 years now.

My best friend and I. Over the phone, over skype, over text messages, over chat, when we come together, when we are so far way, when we are upset, when we are sad, when we are happy. Almost every time we are talking to one another. I am going to know this laugh for the rest of my life.

My friend Susan- I think we bonded over laughing. And that fact that alsmost everyone around us then hardly ever laughed. We laughed at them.

My spouse and I. We laugh. On some of our toughest days, we laugh the laught. And that tides us over.

The night I laughed because my friend Gayatri's dog was on the loose and my girlfirends and I were chasing him in our pyjamas.

When my son yelled to the whole world he had butterfiles in his penis on the roller coaster.

When my 3 year old says "cimmunks" instead of "chipmunks".

When my best friend and I swear in Punjabi.

When I break into my best Hrithik moves.

Wrinkes, shminkles! These are my laugh lines. And everytime I see them , they remind me of all the times I have laughed. And I laugh.

And so, if more wrinkles under the eyes means more laughter.

Oh please, let there be more wrinkles.

On a serious note

To a friend with an incestous uncle, to victims of sexual abuse, to anyone who may have had a chance encounter of molestation....... to girls and women:


No, you may NOT
Feel me, caress me, slide your hand under my shirt.
Stare at me, as if I was merely an object of desire

Leer, ogle, push, touch
Encroach upon my space
Violate, humiliate, shame
Me although it is you who ought to be shamed

I remember now and I am angry
I am mad at having let you
I am sad for having been told it was my fault
When it was really all yours

Dress modest, they said
Do not smile, laugh, talk loud
Be invisible to the eye
Of the one that leers

But I did not want to be invisible
Why must I not be visible
This is my space as much as it is yours
I need to be seen and heard

And you did see and hear me
And then you did what you should not have done

Feel me, caress me, slide your hand under my shirt

Back then I felt a fear
And a loathing
And hate
And fear

But today all I feel is the anger
I am mad
For having let you do what you did
For having let them tell me that maybe it was after all my fault
But today I feel no fear
For I know now
It was not my wrong
It was yours

I am mad that I did not know it then
But now I do
And you can longer hurt me
Because if you do,
I will hurt you back.

Musings

Wife.Mother. Daughter. In law. Lawyer. Accountant. Sister. Friend. Confidante. Spouse. Are parts of who I am. And not who I am.

I am who I am. And who I choose to be. And strive to be. And become.

Free of all I was born into being. Made to be. Asked to be. Supposed to be. Those are just parts of me.

To be me. Is to be this. Free thinking. Free of stereotypes. Confident. To speak my mind. To stand my ground. Loving. So that I can be loved. As giving as deserving to receive.

To choose. My rights. My wrongs. A few vices is not a bad thing.

Womanhood. And all that is a part of it. And to know it all. And love it all. And embrace it all.

To do. Discover. Dream. Explore. Meet. Nurture. Live. Some if this. Some of that. Always seeking.

Life via Lens- A tree with character and a a few dried flowers

I love randomly discovering stuff as I am walking around the city. Stuff that is not obviously noticeable but will catch my eye. Today I saw two. The first is the tree growing on the UFT campus. Brown, leafless, devoid of any buds or leaves, branches that seem like an intricate network of veins. I like this tree. It has a certain character to it. And I am now waiting to see this tree once spring arrives. When the branches start sprouting buds, showing the first signs of life. And then in summer, when the leaf is no longer devoid but blossoming with life.



And then there were the bunch of dried flowers growing on the pathway that I take to work in the morning. Colorless, wet, shriveled up. Resolute through the long winter. Still there. Still standing. Still beautiful. These too, I will visit again when spring arrives. That will be another picture.

Life via lens- Another few happy days :-)

Keunsang, Gia, Rohan and scooters

Hanging out on a tree

The Boys

Bed spread fun!

Before cupcakes get baked, cupcake mixture gets eaten.

Life via Lens- A day in the life of a 7 and 3 year old

Mar 22: G and baby doll and R and Fluffy at bedtime.
Mar 21: Books before bed.

Mar 20: Scootering on Bloor street.

Mar 19: The world eats pancakes. I eat pancake mix.

Mar 18: Apparently, he's posing.

Life via Lens- A typical week day morning

Morning Chai. Subway. Breakfast on the Go. Stairs. Work at fifth floor.