Life is short. Have an affair.

Smart tagline. Controversial service.

ashleymadison.com. A dating service for single people (fine!) and more so for people in a relationship (hmmm) and even more so, for married people (now, you're talking!), looking to have an affair.

And ashleymadison.com is attracting a lot of clients. Let me rephrase that. And ashleymadison.com is attracting a lot of clients who are married, looking to have affairs. Men , women, husbands, wives. they're all there. they're all having affairs.

So I watched this show ..a talk show in which they interviewed the founder of the above mentioned service. And even though the talk show host and the audience were trying to get all self righteous on him, I really thought the man had a point. And his point was this. He wasn't promoting adultery or telling people that they should have an affair. According to him, the people who come to the website, seeking affairs, have already actually decided to step outside their marriage. His web service was merely facilitating it.

And honestly, I think, his argument is fair ! The man, even, has a point. Adultery exists. Spouses cheat. Really, married people have affairs. That is just how it is.

Why? The reasons are plenty and very varied, I can imagine. Sometimes, it is just the boredom of the many many years of being with one person. It could be the drudgery of everyday life. Nothing at all to to do with the spouse. Just someone seeking some excitement. A thrill. Something naughty. Something to make you feel 20 again. When you're really hitting 40. Sometimes, it has got everything to do with the spouse. Disinterested spouse. Boring sex life. lack of chemistry. Etc , etc, etc.

And hey, sometimes, it' just too much vodka. And a cute guy at the bar on the girls night out. Or an ex flame. A secret crush. Unrequited love from the past. Pure physical chemistry with a colleague.

Like I said, the reasons are plenty. And varied. As I can imagine are the consequences.

The choice , however, is only this. Log in. Or log out.

Red wine

It's either the bottle of red wine I just downed or a brilliant realistation! But what I realised is that it's ok! Everything's Ok! Life's ok.
You just live it the best you can. In between the daily stresses of finances and clutter and jobs and kids, you just live it the best you can. And you just tell yourself, this is another day I lived and tomorrow will be better.
Because the more you over complicate it, the more complicated it will be.
You don't judge, you don't over moralize and you definitley don't over stress. Because honeslty if you give it your best shot, it will work out.
I mean, look around you. The Mumbai terror that just happened. The CNN documentary about the nuclear threat to the US in 2013. Terrorism. Poverty. And all that. We are not exaclty citizens of an ideal world. Of a world that promises you much happiness and much peace.
And given that, the peace and the happiness that you can create is for yourself, around yourself.
I am more and mroe ainclined to belive that it is a state of mind, more than anything else.
You tell yourself you are going to have a good day and then you make sure of that.
Beacause this is your life. And as a non believer in a second life, this is your only life. Your one chance at making it happen.
So you make it happen. To the best you can.
And then , for the rest of it......ther's always red wine!
nad ecxues the typos......what cna I say.... it must be the red wine!

My dose of desi

I got me a dose of pure desi today! Much needed it was too, by god ki kasam!

Early Sunday afternoon. I started watching Dostana and although I don't think the film will win any critics awards, it cracked me up in bits and pieces.

Kiron Kher as the Punjabi mom and her Phoolo phallo, kher chodo! That one defintiley deserved a LOL!

John Abraham, flexing every possible muscle in every possible way, in speedos that barely covered an extremely taut butt, no laughing matter , that.

Abishek Bacchan , I like. Priyanka Chopra lookin hot. Sizzzzling Shilpa Shetty. Boman Irani with his over the top gay persona.

Then throw in not one, not two, but three love angles. Also bring in a motherless kid, an Aunty, a glitzy apartment, a few firangis and an expressionless Bobby Deol...and I had my Sunday after noon serving of pure time pass.

And then of course, what's a Hindi movie without the music. Maula, maula was lovely. My desi girl, wanted me to get up and do some jhatka, matkas!

That's what I am talking about. Jhatka matkas bollywood style was what I needed in my life.

So I decided to overdose. By following up the movie with last years IIFA's awards! And boy, was it a good idea, by God ki kasam.

As I sorted laundry, I watched Govinda dance, true Govinda ishtlye. That man, seriously, is one of a kind. And I love him for that.

And I watched Akshay Kumar doing his Singh is King thing. In true Akshay style. By entering the stage on a skate board, suspended in the air.

Boman Irani and Deshmukh at their slapstick best. Kareena, Priyanka , Katrina and Diya shake their booties.

The dhinchuk music. The glitter and glam.

The wannabe Hollywood "Who are you wearing" question on the, now environmentally friendly "green" carpet. And to that question, Govinda's non - wannabe response "Suit pehena aa, jaise aap dekh rahe hai."

The Bacchan line family line up- Amitabh, Jaya, Abhishek and Ash with their Dior, Armani, Manish Malhotra and Dolce Gabana couture!

Bollywood, Bollywood and then some more!

My indie film, world cinema watching self took a much needed Bollywood break today. And it did me good. I was entertained. Pure filmi ishtyle.

What can I say? You can take a Desi girl out of India.......

On a break

Have you ever just taken a break? From all of it. From life. And not necessarily a physical break...like going away somewhere. More , in your head. Being physically present, yet not. Living the life, not feeling it, though. In a room full of noise, from your husband and the kids, yet absolutely hearing nothing. Pretending to listen on the phone. Being quiet for hours, because no one's interesting enough to talk to . Day dreaming. Watching mindless TV. Boycotting the mall. Packin up all your stuff in boxes and not missing it. Not caring that the toilet paper is almost over. Or the rice. No longer being the hyperactive busy body. No longer wanting to do stuff. Or deal with issues. Or change.
Just for now. Because I know I'll be back. Recharged. Re invented.
But for now, this feels okay. Solitary.
Peaceful. In a very strange way. What a trip!

My new BFF

Paris Hilton has a new reality show on MTV. It's called My New BFF. It's about Paris Hilton looking for a new BFF. The contestants are 22 year old girls, competing to be Paris Hilton's new BFF. With every episode , Paris Hilton will eliminate a contestant , thus leaving the rest to be still in competition to become Paris Hilton's new BFF. All these girls will try their darndest best to be Paris Hilton's new BFF. At the end of the show, the last girl standing will be Paris Hilton's new BFF. A lot of viewers will tune in every week to watch this show about Paris Hilton and her soon to be new BFF.

I have no more to say.

Our spot.

My best friend. She knows who she is. I know who she is. It's set in stone.

And she and me have our spots. Spot, special place, corners..call it what you will.

It all started at an advertising agency. Big , ugly chairs. Art directors, Copywriters,Client Servicing. Noise, brainstorming, chatter, deadlines. Copy, art, branding..all of that. Amidst all of that- us. And here, we made a connection. And left it at that.

Then there was a bus. A run down charter bus from Connaught Place to Noida. Cramped with sweaty office goers returning home from work, sleazoids trying to grope women, women trying to brush off those sleazoids, families with kids, college kids, shopkeepers, noise, sweat, grime. Defintely not the most conducive setting for getting to know someone.

And yet, amidst all that we would find a spot. And that would become our spot. For the next hour. Where we would talk. Office gossip. Boyfriends. Bosses. Break ups. College days. Here, we would get to know one another. One bus ride at a time.

Fast forward to 5 years later. Destiny interfered with us. I truly belive that. Because, completely unplanned, completely unexpected, completely unknowingly, we were there. At the same place. And we were meant to be there. To find again, our spot.

And find it, we did. In Tipusan ( and she'll get the drift here). Mattress on the floor against a wall in a medium sized living room which had a wash basin in a corner. Vodka, rum and coke, smokes. Painting, films, joints. Conversation. About life. About the struggles in life. Divorces. Marriages. Friendships. About the charter bus that ran between CP and Noida. About the advertising agency. Here, we were catching up. Here, we were also setting our friendship in stone. Here, we were realising that we were meant to be best friends. Realising that we were meant to be here.

Years passed. Stuff happened. Major stuff, minor stuff. Mostly major stuff. And then, another spot. This time, a more grown up, a more evolved, a more relaxed , a more " I get you" spot. A brightly colored jute chattai rolled out on a kitchen floor. Food on the kitchen counter. Vodka and lime. Rum and coke. No husbands. Kids in bed. Night time. Conversation. Conversation. And some more conversation. About marriage. About Women. Parenting. Love. Life. Kids. Family. Sibling. World cinema. Music. Friends. Fashion. Careers. the past. The present. The Future. Her life. My life. Our lives.

To be continued.




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Soul feeding is what I'm talking about

Lots of layers..lots of volume...an hour out by myself...one happy me.

Soul feeding is all it's about. Stay focussed on staying happy. De-stress. Talk to your best friend. Laugh. Wear lipstick. And some silver. Detach. Attach. Flirt. Smile. Drink a good cup of coffee. Stretch. Tone. Crunch your abs. Love your body. Cook a mean curry. Celebrate. Read.

Whatever floats your boat.

As long as you know.